Babydoll Page 5

  "Bye, Dad," I told him.

  "Bye, Bailey, had a good day," he replied.

  My embarrassed smile melted away as dad rolled out of the parking lot and I spotted my boyfriend loitering near the main doorway. Just like every other time, thinking that word gave me a thrill. I had a boyfriend. It was grown up and awesome. And the boy was perfect. Cameron was smiles and giggles and walks in the woods and kissing a hundred time in the barn while he worked (but didn’t get much done) on his truck. Cameron was still summer time freedom even though the days were getting shorter and we were back to being imprisoned at school eight hours every day.

  "Hey, beautiful," he said, dropping a big arm around my shoulders and a kiss on my forehead. Even though we had kissed a billion times since he asked me to be his girlfriend we both knew we had to keep it PDA minimal on school grounds. "You ready for this?"

  I made a fussy face. I wasn’t ready. I wanted it to be summer forever.

  "Not really, but it's not like we really have a choice," I replied, snuggling close to his side.

  "Hey, bitch," I heard Haley's voice from behind me.

  Cameron and I both turn, unwilling to let each other go for a second.

  I grinned at my friend. She looked freaking great in her mini with her bright blonde hair falling over her shoulders. She was letting it grow long and she looked like a Barbie doll come to life.

  "Hey, barbiegirl," I teased.

  She smirked until her eyes tilted up to my boy. Haley had never really been a Cameron fan. I'm pretty sure they had some falling out in elementary school but neither of them really remembered what it was about. However, they both promised me to play nice since they would be forced into close proximity. Haley gave Cameron and indifferent hello nod and he returned the gesture. It was all I could really ask for.

  We were comparing schedules for the millionth time when Luke's Jeep came squealing into the parking lot, Sublime blasting from the speakers. The Jeep was so bright neon green you could see it for blocks away. It was his sixteenth birthday present. My dad said he was going to have to give that boy a hundred tickets.

  Lucy spilled out the door backpack in one hand and a massive blueberry muffin in the other. She butt bumped the door closed and hurried over after she spotted us. Luke favored us with a quick wave before he speed off. As usual his appearance put a huge smile on Haley's face. I thought that her crush would fade over time but I was wrong.

  Seeing Lucy bounce up the steps, Cameron gave me one last squeeze.

  "I'll let you girls catch up or whatever," he said, with a smile.

  Before I could tell him we pretty much planned the whole day already Haley threw him a sickly sweet fake smile.

  "Thanks," she told him, brightly.

  He got in an eye roll before he headed off to hang with his boys.

  "Can't you ever be nice?" I asked my friend.

  "Haley, nice?" Lucy asked, with a laugh as she closed our circle. "Not a snowballs chance in Hell."

  "I can be nice," Haley said, with a haughty hair flip. "Just not to him."

  I thought about reminding her that Cameron was my boyfriend again so she had to try but I knew I'd just be wasting my breath. Instead I changed the subject.

  "Did you guys see what Tiffany Parker is wearing?" I asked, with a grin. I knew just what to say to derail Haley's train of thought.

  "Holy shit, those shorts are insane. She's got the world's worst case of CTS," she said, with an evil grin.

  "CTS?" Lucy asked, looking for the shorts in question.

  "Camel Toe Syndrome," Haley told her, with a smirk. The bell rang signaling the beginning of another school year and Haley laced an arm through one of mine and one of Lucy's. "It's almost like she had a third fucking leg."

  While the year rolled on uneventfully, it was still perfect in my eyes. I had the two best friends I could ever have and a great boyfriend. Even when there was some conflict it didn’t last.

  "Friday Night Lights," Cameron said, bouncing the hacky sack he's been playing with in his hand.

  "No fucking chance," Haley countered.

  "Then what do you want to see, oh mighty queen Haley?" he asked, without taking his eyes off the sack.

  I could see my best friend gritting her teeth. Something about Cameron's nonchalance always raised her blood pressure. He did it on purpose. I knew I should have said something to soothe the two of them but I was way too lazy and way too content and just a little foggy from the Xanax Haley swiped from her mom. My head was in Lucy's lap and she was twisting tiny braids in my hair and it was the most comfortable place in the whole wide world.

  Haley had been snagging her mom's pills for a while to help her go to sleep. She said it was hard to get any peace in her house with her parents constantly bickering. Then she brought one of the little white blocks to school and broke it up three ways. She wanted us to see how calm and awesome it made everything. I was nervous but Haley promised me it was be just fine and Lucy just shrugged her shoulders and said “why not”. Not wanting to act like a baby, I shrugged too. The three of us downed the pill with orange juice after first period and lunch was super smooth and relaxed. I couldn’t figure out how Haley had the energy to argue with Cameron over what movie we were going to see that weekend.

  "How about we let Bailey decide since it's her birthday?" Lucy chimed in. My birthday was actually the week before but that weekend was the first time we had all been free to go see something. We even convinced my dad to let Luke drive us.

  "I wanna see that scary movie," I said. It looked weird and creepy and I figured it would probably give me nightmares but picking it meant I didn’t have to pick a side.

  "Saw?" Lucy asked, excitedly.

  "Yeah, that was the one. That little doll thingy looks super creepy," I said.

  "Hells yeah! I'm so down." Lucy exclaimed.

  Haley rolled her eyes with a non-committed shrug. You could always count on Haley to be snotty if she didn’t get her way.

  "Whatever," she conceded.

  Cameron gave me an indulgent smile, his big brown eyes sparkling.

  "Can I squeeze your hand at the scary parts?" He asked.

  It made me feel melty-happy right along with my relaxed from the meds. I completely tuned out Haley's eye-roll.

  The year before, I thought that my huge party was the most perfect way to spend a birthday but I was wrong. We started the night celebrating my thirteenth birthday squeezed in the Jeep, Haley riding shotgun and Gavin, Lucy, Cameron, and I smooshed in the back. I was thanking God my dad was already at work or we never would have gotten away with that. And he would have had a special super heart attack if he found out Luke's present for me was a pink flask filled with watermelon vodka.

  "Baby-doll pink for my Baby-doll," he said, giving me a great big wet kiss on the forehead.

  All of us but Luke passed my treat around as we flew down the highway to the mall. Since none of us were actually old enough to buy tickets Haley used her assets to flirt with some middle aged creeper so he would get us tickets. Watching his eyes eat up the skin she exposed by tugging down her sweater almost made me nauseous. I knew I wasn’t the only one because Luke watched him like a hawk the whole time. I knew that if his old, balding ass made one false move Luke would take him down so quick his head would spin. Luckily, it didn’t take long and Haley was sauntering back over to us with tickets in hand.

  "So easy," she said, with a smirk and an eye roll.

  "Man, fuck that creeper," Luke told her, dropping his huge arm around her shoulder as we made our way inside. "Nobody needs to be looking at my girl like that."

  I didn’t pay much attention to the comment, thinking it was just Luke being a big brother like usual, but not long after the opening credits I looked down to see the two of them still cuddled awfully cozy. In fact, everyone seemed to have their match for the night. I had my Cameron and on the other side of us Lucy and Gavin seemed to be pretty comfy sharing an armrest. It seemed like while I was wrapped up in having my
very own boyfriend my friends had found the right guys for them. It was a pleasant surprise.

  If that perfect beginning wasn't enough the movie was great. Twisty and turny and creepier than anything I'd ever seen before. The unexpected ending made my jaw drop even though I did miss some parts here and there with Cameron feeling super frisky from the vodka. His big hands were restless, tracing over the back of my neck and threading his fingers with mine. He leaned over constantly to whisper in my ear, sending tingles up my spine. I thought it was the darkness of the theater that encouraged my handsy boyfriend but afterward, squeezed back into the Jeep’s backseat he showed no signs of stopping his attention. In between sips from the almost empty flask, he continued his touching.

  "Not here," I whispered, as Cameron pressed kisses up the side of my neck. His hand was creeping so high up the inside of my thigh. I was almost certain he could feel the heat from my warmest spot.

  "No one's paying any attention," he whispered back, pressing close to me.

  Sure enough, Haley's head was on Luke's shoulder and Lucy and Gavin were both fast asleep.

  "But still," I hissed at him. My heart was pounding. His touches and his kisses were making the nerves under my skin feel like live wires. My jeans felt too tight. My sweater was sweltering. I could feel my cheeks burning. The combination of physical feelings and the potential to get “caught” was just too much for me.

  "Fine," he pouted. But I could tell he wasn’t really mad because he kept me tucked against his side until we reached my house.

  We hopped out shouting bye to everybody when Luke pulled into my driveway. We had about an hour until his sister was due to pick him up and we planned to make the most of it. I tugged him through the door of my empty house and up the stairs without turning a single light on. We stumbled into my room and tumbled onto the bed, hands pulling through hair and lips crashing together. Cameron laid back on his back and hauled me on top of him.

  We had been that far a few times. We occasionally found his house empty when his sister took his dad to the hospital and sometimes afterschool study sessions at my house would get completely sidetracked. It was scary and fun at the same time. I knew I wasn’t really ready to go all the way yet but there were times when Cameron's kisses and touches made me feel so good and so wanted and so pretty I wasn’t sure how far I did want to go. I let him slip his hands under the hem of my sweater and tug it up over my head leaving me perched on top of him in my lacy bra. The moonlight lit my room softly and I could see his eyes all over me, loving every inch of exposed skin.

  "So, so pretty," he whispered, running a soft finger down my cheek and over my collarbone.

  "So handsome," I whispered back, pushing his hair back from his face.

  He grinned and rolled us over in one motion. His mouth was back to mine and he was grinding against me. I knew just how excited he was because I could feel how his jeans were full of angles. He moved his mouth from my mouth to my neck and the shell of my ear, sending lightning down my back and up my sides.

  "My beautiful girl," he murmured, as his hands crept over my rib cage. The very tips of his fingers slip under the edge of my bra, brushing the underside of my breast. That was new. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. I closed my eyes as his mouth moved back down to the hollow of my throat. Quickly, but oh so softly, his hands slipped to my back and released the clasp holding the pretty lace tight.

  I gasped. I felt Cam hesitate. All my feelings and thoughts were a jumble. I felt booze soaked, dizzy chills. But I didn’t want to stop. I pressed against him. That was all the encouragement he needed. His mouth trailed softly down nudging my bra down as he went.

  "My pretty Baby-doll," he whispered, before I felt his hot mouth close around the sensitive bud of my nipple.

  Suddenly it was like alarms rang in my head. It was too much. Everything was going too far. I didn’t want it. And he called me the wrong name. Cameron never called me Baby-doll. He called me babe and his girl and a hundred other little names but not that. That name didn’t belong to him and it felt completely wrong. It made everything feel wrong. Everything spun out of control.

  "Stop!" I yelped.

  "Huh?" Cameron pulled back, just a little, confused.

  I pushed at his chest and squirmed out from under him.

  "Bailey?" he questioned, worriedly.

  He was completely bewildered and I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t even know what was wrong with me. But I did know I needed to get to the bathroom as quick as possible

  "I think I'm going to be sick!" I groaned, shoving around him. I ran the down hall and made it to the bathroom just in time.

  Stupid watermelon vodka. It burned.

  * * *

  Chapter 7

  * * *

  As I got older I began to notice that summer felt shorter and shorter every year. When I was little I remembered feeling like summer lasted forever. There was enough time to play every game and sing every song and do every single thing I wanted to do. I was always ready to go back by the time the school year rolled around. That wasn’t the case as Junior High gave way to High School.

  The summer after my eighth grade year seemed like it had barely gotten there and already school was starting the next week. I thought I'd have more time to finish the story I was writing. I thought I'd have more time to hang out and make out with Cameron. I thought I'd get to watch more movies with Haley and Lucy. Nope. Clock ran out. There was just one more weekend.

  Luckily, the last one was going to be a good weekend. Lucy's parents were throwing a huge back to school barbeque. Lucy kept telling us there was some big surprise. We bugged the crap out of her about telling us what the surprise was but she wouldn’t budge. Even Luke wouldn’t tell and Haley did her best to work him over. It was funny to me that she had him so wrapped around her little finger even though they weren’t technically together. Luke told Haley she was too young to be his girl. She wasn’t even in high school yet, her parents would kill him, blah blah blah.

  We knew the truth though. We knew he was sneaking over to her house damn near every night she wasn’t with us. We knew he told her how she was the prettiest girl he ever laid eyes on. We knew they had rounded third base. In fact Haley had pretty much become the expert on doing stuff in our group. She told Lucy and I everything even though Lucy didn’t really want to hear it, Luke was her brother after all. But I wanted to hear it all. Hearing Haley's stories wasn’t like hearing rumors at school or reading in magazines. It was my real life best friend telling me how things felt.

  Not that I hadn't figured out some of it myself. Cameron and I are were progressing. We just decided to slow things down after my birthday. Well, I decided to slow things down. Cameron was still all for full steam ahead. I was just a little more freaked out about things. I still remembered how crazy, out of control I felt that night. Granted, it was mostly because I was so messed up from the drinking. We had a few more nights that summer where we got our hands on some booze or even some of Cameron's dad's beers but whenever the dizzy, lightheadedness set in I would slap Cameron's hands away. I was taking a hard pass on drunken groping. But sober I let him take my shirt off and feel my boobs with my bra on. It still felt tingly, good but most of the time but I felt like something was missing. Like it wasn’t quite right. I just couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong.

  "What are you wearing tonight?" Haley asked.

  I was laying in the middle of my bedroom floor, talking to my friend on the cordless phone. I glanced down at what I was wearing. It seemed appropriate for a summer barbeque.

  "The same shorts and tank I have on right now," I told her.

  "Really? I think we should dress up. I mean big surprise and all," she replied.

  I glanced over at my open closet. I had a couple of cute summer dresses but I just didn’t know if going over to Lucy’s house would merit a wardrobe change. I shifted the phone from one ear to the other as I contemplated.

  "I don't know. I mean what if it's like a
new pool or something?" I asked. I would have hated to get all dressed up and then end up wasting all the effort.

  I could almost hear Haley's eye roll.

  "It's not a pool, Bailey. I live right next door. I'd know if they were getting a pool," she huffed.

  "Huh," I said, giving myself my very own eye roll. "That’s true. Stupid me. But what else could it be?"

  "I don't know. But I do know that surprises mean pictures. And if it's a family thing there's no reason in the world I can’t post pics of me and Luke from tonight on my Myspace,” she said, firmly.

  There was more to that statement that she was saying. I could tell she was gearing up for a full rant.

  "Who posted something now?" I asked, with a smile.

  "That slut Charlotte from his summer camp," she barked.

  "And why is she a slut?" I asked. I always felt a kind of bad calling people names if I didn’t know them.

  "She's a cheerleader. All cheerleaders are sluts."

  I couldn’t help but giggle. She was being ridiculous.

  "And you’re trying to tell me that the only cheerleading camp you could go to is one that partners with a football camp? Bullshit. Fucking bullshit,” Haley fumed. I could picture her face growing red as she seethed.

  "Ok, so what kind of picture did Charlotte the cheerleading slut post?" I asked.

  "Just the usual bullshit. He's got his arm around her shoulders and she's holding on to him around the waist. She's like two inches from an ass grab," she explained.

  I climbed off the floor and pulled up my own Myspace page. I found Luke in my top eight and clicked the picture. Sure enough there was a post from a girl name Charlotte, a picture of the two of them. To me, she didn’t look that slutty. She just looked like a cheerleader. And Luke looked like his usual happy self. And her hand was nowhere in the vicinity of his ass.

  "What a slut," I consoled my bestie. "You’re prettier anyways."

  Haley sighed. She always tried to play it super tough but I knew she hated being in in-between land with Luke. They weren’t together but they weren’t not together either. She really wanted it to be super simple like Cameron and me.